LA & santa monica

*Ben learning to skateboard

*it was a funky house we stayed in

*people feel so free here....

*Minnie's house (above)

*Mickey's house

*Mickey & Ben & Peter (above)

*Ben & Peter in Mickey Mouse's car

*Goofy's house

*the women's bathroom sign in toontown at disney




the day before our plane flight to los angeles dad asked me "you wouldn't try to bring m******** on the plane would you?" and i laughed at him as if he were being hilariously ludicrous to even begin to think such a thing. but in actuality, it would be ludicrous of anyone to presume i may think of going on a vacation without my Mary J. i got it there safe and sound too, using my anatomical hiding spot of course. no trouble, no hold-ups, no getting caught, no nothing. ...ha i did get "randomly selected" to get my "hands swabbed" to check for bomb residue tho.

I was lucky in the fact that i had an anatomical hiding spot for the stuff while  going through security. My luck went as far as to allow me to pass thru security without an issue, but it didnt go as far as to allow me to do it comfortably. The way i was walking, i imagine i probably looked severely 

constipated. i winced in mild pain as i squatted down to remove my shoes to put on the conveyor belt, and again to put them back on. It 

wasnt too long afterward, though, that my hiding spot was happily relieved of its contents (which ended up very greatly adding to 

the quality of the trip after all).

In LA there arent really cigarette butts all over the sidewalk like there are in  PA. In PA u dont feel bad about throwing ur cigarette butt on the ground cuz there's already so many there. In LA u finish a 

cigarette and the filter's in your hand and you're left thinking "where can i hide this?"

mom's been watching/looking at this cartoon online called "mompetition."  whoever created it made it like a 3d animation cartoon show.  each one is like just a couple minutes long.  it's basically about how moms beat each other up about their parenting skills and techniques.  so the way it's made is totally just like a regular 3d animation cartoon (like handy manny or something) except for the voices.  the voices are the only abnormal thing.  they're computerized.  they sound like a GPS system talking.  actually no, they're even worse than that, even more computerized-sounding.  it's freaky.  one time mom tried to show me that cartoon while i was high.  i guess it's only freaky to me when i'm high; i can tolerate it better when i'm not.  but anyway that was my reaction when i first saw it.  i just walked away cuz i was freaked out.  then last week me & my family went to disneyland.  we didn't go on the "it's a small world after all" ride but we saw it and passed it long enough for mom to remember what it was like to take me on that ride when i was little, and tell me about it.  she said i was scared to death on that ride.  i was screaming and crying.  haha.  that ride isn't even supposed to be scary.  but she told me about that and it made sense.  it's a bunch of fake little robotic children, dressed like they're from different countries from all over the world, singing that song "it's a small world after all."  there's something very disconcerting about artificial or robotic people, and artificial or robotic voices (especially when i'm high, which i couldn't have been at that age, but mom mentioned i was over-tired and hadn't had a nap when i needed one, and being in that state of mind is in some ways similar to being high or coming down off a high).

so when we were in LA last week this one night me & mom & chelsea were up drinking and we were listening to a bunch of old music (it was a station on cable or something).  then the song "don't dream it's over" by crowded house came on.  i was drunk and a little high too so that increased the effect but i became a bit overwhelmed with some kind of indescribable sentimental morose feeling (that usually comes to me when i hear that song).  i said as much to mom.  for the first time i can ever recall doing it, i told her about the feeling i get when i hear that song.  she told me that that's funny because that was the song that was always on the radio when i was a baby, in the time period right before she left my genetic father.  it was the period of time he was beating her up pretty frequently.  mom said that in that time period she knew she had to leave him but she didn't want to because she was still in love with him and she just hated the whole situation and was so depressed and frustrated by it and she would be reminded of it every time that song came on, and she still is reminded of it every time that song comes on.  then she said "i think you must have been very connected to me and felt what i felt: not because i did anything or said anything but just because you just felt things through me somehow.  it's probably similar to the way you feel how animals are feeling.  you just feel things."  i must have been only a year old when that song came out.  it was 1987.  i was born in 1986.  so maybe less than a year, i don't know exactly.