i'm pretty sure i'm not capable of relationships. they just require too much communication, and communication's not exactly my thing
haha. something else occured to me. i have to stay single cuz i'm the girl couples call when they want a threesome (yea, uh, i had one with shy and kelley, tug and chelsea....and how many couples have acted like they wanted to? let's see....dopie and rachel, dana and ralff, darya and ray....possibly dopie and alaina. oh and possibly amanda and chris. yea).
which reminds me. kelley hasn't texted me or answered messages or wall posts from me on facebook. it seems like shy and kelley don't wanna have me over any more? then something else occured to me later: maybe they are just being like that cuz they think i don't want to again cuz i was all reluctant and shit at first, the last time stuff happened between the three of us. or it could really be just that kelley stopped liking me. i don't know. one day last week it was only me and shy at work, cuz shane was sick and it was dopie's day off. we had a lot of time to talk. shy was asking me all these questions about myself and he said "i'm trying to get to know you, i don't know you for shit." that surprised me. he feels like he still doesn't know me. i mentioned that he still hasn't seen me high. maybe if he had then he would feel like he knows me. something just occured to me right now. maybe he was trying to subliminally say "wait i thought you liked having threesomes with me and kelley, then the last time it was like you were reluctant. what changed? i don't get you. i don't get you man i don't get what you're thinking. talk to me." anyway when i said that maybe he would know me better if he saw me high, he was like "i don't get it. explain. elaborate." then i said "i don't know how to elaborate, i don't know how to put it in words. using words is so hard, i dont know how, when i try to use words its like my brain is being squeezed and skewered...like my brain is in a vice and it's being turned and squeezed harder and harder and more torturously till it explodes and thats the thing thats so hard about this society, you have to use words so much and its so hard" then he said "i know what you mean"
three nights in a row i just had a whole bunch of sex dreams all night. maybe that's when i was ovulating.
the other day i actually ate some chicken. it was on a day there was basically like no food left in the house so i didn't have anything to pack and bring to work, and i didn't have money to buy anything either, and josh brought in this tupperware container of homemade chicken noodle soup that becky made and it was for anyone and everyone and it was sitting in the fridge in the back and when no one was looking i ate a little of it, the whole time thinking "i can't believe i'm doing this. ....well i guess i'm vegan until i'm starving."
the other day shy randomly gave me this black castlevania t shirt and said "merry christmas toots. i saw this in the store and it reminded me of you so i got it for you."
we got a puppy today. i have to write more details about that.
i will be your hydration. i will be both in and around your body as it moves through the night. i will make your body glisten serenely in the moonlight. your hot skin will be soothed by the cool touch of mine. i will be in and around you. come to me. run within me. walk within me. just be with me. ----quoth the steam of the misty night
jamie has some kind of boyfriend cat. a black and white cat that must live around here or something.
mom somehow drunk dialed the woman who we got the puppy from. she thought she was calling uncle chad. the woman answered the phone and mom thought it was chad disguising his voice and she said "sexy voice, chadwick." and the woman was like "what? who is this?" and mom said "very sexy, chadwick." the woman was just like "what?" and mom looked at her phone and realized what number she had called and said "i think i have the wrong number" and the woman said "yea i think you do."
i got a talking-to the other day by shy, about tattooing behind his back. i got a major talking-to.
i can't get over how fucking adorable his kids are!!!!!!!
sheesh. shane has all these obnoxious friends that come in the shop and try to show me their genitalia. when does it end?
angry phone messages from pat h. saying "you owe me better than this." .....ok.
oh here's something else that's important that i've been wanting to write about for a while but just never got to it till now: last time me & shy & kelley had a threesome, afterwards me & shy cuddled naked and slept there together like that through the night. ......in a lot of ways that was the best part.
....and possibly tiffany and carl
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