possum crossing

This huge possum crossed my path thursday night. For a while he just sort of
sat & stared, just a few feet away from me. He didnt run away until i started to approach

I guess the issue is, sean m wants to plan ahead if we get together. Or the
issue is the car that will be "mine" isnt fixed therefore i would have to use my parents car therefore i would have to say "hey can i take the car to go see sean m." and i don't want to tell my mom that i want to see sean m. again. And, u know, im not gonna lie
about where im going cuz thatll just make me forever paranoid of being caught in the lie. so thats why i still havent gotten together w him. maybe if he was the kind of guy that i would wanna tell my mom that i wanna go see, then i'd go see him. So if he wants to
bitch at me about not going to see him then he can get on the phone w my mom and try to convince her he's worthy. not that he has bitched at me. he hasn't. he just would rather have some kind of intimacy whether technological or physical. I think i would want to have either something physical or nothing. So its either nothing happens, or he tries to win over my mom, or i go see him when the honda's fixed.

Msg: (1/6) So apparently i didnt tell malcolm and sara about all the ways tim h.
failed as a father--not until 2 days ago anyway. Daquinn is being a total douche. i finally deleted jenn and idaa as friends on fb. i was going to delete D too but then decided i didn't want to til after i get security deposit money from that apt back. Keep wondering if alyssa will still be friends w jenn & idaa after she doesnt have to live w them anymore.

Msg: (5/6) tattoo bomber still never got back to me. I called shy too. Still nothing.
Dont want me anymore i guess. What to do now? Freelance tattooing? Advertise on
Msg: (6/6) craigslist? Ive heard thats at least a semi decent way of making money.
Msg: (1/6) The option of being a stripper is still somewhere in the back of my mind.
Could i actually hack it? Could i deal with the stress of being on a stage and being stared at? before i make any decisions i just want to go to a strip club first as a customer, probably sometime soon, to see what its like. then again if i dont end up going further
Msg: (3/6) down that path then i just blew a bunch of money on a strip club. We'll see
what happens. The honda's supposedly supposed to be fixed hopefully sometime
Msg: (4/6) this week.

Me & sean m? Still lust for each other as much as ever, but he has a stick up his ass about me going to see him w/o "planning ahead" first, which is hard for me to do these days, and he's apparently content just sex-texting. But i'm definitely not. I just want something real
and physical. Though lately watching true blood has got me thinking that maybe i don't really truly understand sex, never have and never will. the ways that people get turned on by torturing each other in that show.....is so beyond me sometimes.

I think sara c. might like me as more than a
friend. Dammit i really miss lindsay s. i wanna go see her. Maybe i will
Msg: (4/6) once the car is fixed. Angie went back to colombia. Well she went back
planning to come back here after 2 weeks even tho she was never even positive
they would give her another working visa. Now supposedly they wont give her one. Me & tug were hangin out w sara & malcolm. Tug was coming on to me a bit. I wonder if he'll ever give up. I just dont think of him like that anymore.

Bellyache from eating too much. Time to go work out soon i think. Dont mind
anymore that amanda's fucking sean c. Actually
right now i would kinda feel bad for anyone who actually has feelings for him bc
he's such a big flirt, to a ridiculous degree, to too many people. amanda can have him. although she does deserve someone better than him though.

Tomorrow night the taskers are coming! They're staying with us for two weeks.
Yaaaaaaaaaaaay! I dont think i'll be complaining about how boring my life is anymore for a while. But dammit i'm horny. I'm horny for sean m. I just want him to live closer. Ha, what would he say if i just demanded to him that he live closer to me?

jason? dunno about him. mixed signals. he's probably just really busy.

shaved theo.

uncle chad supposedly wants a tattoo fourth of july weekend.

this kid jackson smith was flirting w me a bit at kati's party. i only briefly began to start to consider having thoughts of being interested in him too. he's only nineteen after all. then i came back to my senses and sort of blew him off.