love what i do...

"you feel guilty a lot, don't you?"

"we should just tattoo your whole arm green."

"if i washed off my dick would you suck it?"

"just hook up with joe."

"you don't have to tip them."

"she's smarter than you give her credit for."

"she bounces back."

"did you really just go over and apologize?"

"are you spying on me?"

"i saw you just go over there and give her a dollar and say 'i'm sorry.' you don't have to tip them especially if you're not even standing at the bar."

"then what are they here for?!"

"i love you liz."

"i............loveyoutoo."

"what?! fuck you liz! just throwing words around!"

"was your mom a stripper?"

"you think too much."

"i wanna hit that before i disrespect her."

"i just don't get how you thought it wasn't okay to fuck your boss, but it was okay to punch your boss in the head?"

"ok i won't ever do that again."

"i just think punching someone seems worse than fucking them."

"you think so?.....i think sex is more emotionally loaded than fighting. what did you say before i punched you? you could have punched me back."

"you were saying to katie 'i wish there was something i could do to help' and i said 'yea there's something you can do to help, you can shut the fuck up.' and we were in your car so i wasn't going to punch you back."

am i a square peg trying to fit into a round hole?

or is this just what it feels like to be working again after so much time not working? is this the amount of stress that being a working person entails?

tori says shane and jenna are always fighting.

i made an ass out of grimy by going up to that stripper after he refused to tip her, and tipping her and apologizing for him (and then i gave her one of our cards; maybe i shouldn't have done that?). should i feel bad about that? was i in the wrong? did i cross some kind of line? am i on his team because i'm his coworker, or am i on her team because i'm a woman?

come to think of it, it wasn't even the fact that he didn't tip her. that wasn't it at all. it was the fact that he was being obnoxious about it. he was laughing at her, and laughing about her behind her back when she walked away. he was expecting me to laugh along with him.

i guess this apprenticeship is different from my last one because, number one, there's no way i'm going to fuck any of my coworkers. number two, i know i don't have to like my coworkers. they don't have to like me either. we don't have to like each other, and most likely i'm not going to like them because tattoo people are all pretty much douche bags (i hate to generalize, but, they are). all we have to do is help each other make money. that's all we have to do.

if i make money for them, i'm basically their equal. i don't have to kiss their asses.

but, then again, am i still going to love tattooing as much if i have to always be around guys that are douche bags whenever i'm doing it?

is it possible to love your job but hate your coworkers?

"love what i do, hate where i work." -shane

i guess it is possible.

this apprenticeship is also different because of katie, though. another apprentice. another girl. another person with asperger syndrome. we can understand each other at least somewhat. and when i said "hate your coworkers" i was only referring to pat and grimy, not to her. katie is cool. the idea of quitting would seem much more appealing to me if it wasn't for her. and, i mean, it's encouraging because it makes me think, "if she can put up with them, then i can too, right? somehow she does it, so it's not impossible."