i love tattooing but i don't know if i love tattooed people. actually i don't know if i love people in general. i want to tattoo people but i don't want all the stupid small talk that has to come before and after tattooing someone if you want to have enough friendly acquaintances that like tattoos, to be able to keep it up.
what do i do?
katie attracts clientele by being a bar tender i think. well i mean i know she's a bar tender but i don't know if that has anything to do with how she attracts clientele. maybe i could try to learn bar tending if someone would ever be willing to try to teach me. i don't want to ask anyone though. i don't like to ask people for things. plus....if i'm going to have two jobs (and that has to be the plan because tattooing is not steady money) it would be nice if one of them involved animals.
know what would be nice? taking care of horses at a boarding stable and being a trail ride guide. i just got a job like that today. i start sunday. it sounds like it's going to be fun and all except for the fact that it's less than minimum wage. however, if i work there i get to ride for free whenever i want. that shouldn't be important, though, should it? it should be important that i have a job that provides money and provides opportunities to meet new people so i can tell those people i do tattoos and thus attract business to the shop.
whenever i'm about to go into work, it shouldn't feel like i'm about to go in for my daily dose of abuse and torture. should it?
but i still like tattooing!
grimy and pat try to tell me that you attract clientele by meeting people in bars. you attract clientele by going out drinking. however i've tried that with them a few different nights now and so far it hasn't worked. i've just ended up spending my money on alcohol. i tried to talk to this one guy about potential tattoo ideas and he just thought i was hitting on him and got all pissy when he realized i wasn't.
pat and grimy try to tell me if i want to tattoo then i have to "drink a lot more and fuck a lot more." ...i'm really hoping they're wrong. what if they're right? would it be worth it? do they not ever have any fear of venerial diseases?
what if i like this horse farm job? what if i get more horse farm jobs since this one is only one day a week? what if i find another horse farm job that actually provides good pay? would i just give up tattooing for that job? i don't know about that. it depends how much i like the people i work with, i guess.
i really wonder if, having this new horse farm job, i'm going to actually meet anybody who wants to get tattooed by me.
would i ever just give up tattooing?
i was on the verge of quitting today. i had it in my head that i was going to walk in and say, "i've been re-thinking my life. i think i shouldn't be a tattooist." then they weren't there today. and then i re-thought that decision and told myself not to make any rash decisions. see how things work out. see if i can actually attract any clientele to the shop.
are there a lot of horse people that are also tattoo people? i've known at least one.
i could also try working at petland, where i've seen that some of their employees have tattoos.
i could try to learn bar tending. i could try to learn dog grooming. those are both things that have to be taught though! so i have to bother someone to teach me!
ok, here's the plan: see how this horse job goes. but what's the plan for if i meet people who want tattoos, versus if i don't meet people who want tattoos? hmmmm. if it doesn't work for anyone else, it might work for alyssa. having this job, i mean. bribing her into coming over this way. we can also go on a trail ride and since i don't have to pay to ride then we'll split the cost of her riding and then it's cheaper for her.
if i don't meet people who want tattoos? and if it's dead in the shop for long enough? and if i really like the horse job? and if i look around at other horse farms and they also need help? and if i get another horse farm job? what if i get another horse farm job and it's good pay and it fills whatever hole in my soul is there from not tattooing? would i just totally switch over? i don't know.....maybe, maybe not.
i told tori i wanted to learn grooming and she said she would teach me and it's easy. when is she actually ever going to get around to it though?
i have half a mind to ask katie how hard bar tending is to learn, next time i see her.
would i be able to handle being a bar tender? if i was a bar tender and a tattooist then that would mean i have two jobs that both entail dealing with people a lot. WOULD i be able to hack it?
pat and grimy trying to tell me i have to go out and party and drink and fuck.....is that just them trying to get me drunk and fuck me? ......the day after grimy tried to put moves on me and i wasn't going for it, he was really grumpy and wasn't acting like he wanted to teach me anything anymore. the day after pat tried to put moves on me and i wasn't going for it, he was really grumpy and wasn't acting like he wanted to teach me anything anymore. .....was hiring me just their little scheme to get laid?
ugh.
how big of assholes do my coworkers have to be in order for me to just give up having this job that entails having an artistic eye (which is what i want in a job)? ....i don't know, but that's what i'm starting to be forced to figure out these days.
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