laid

for some reason last night i had a dream with amanda (chris's girlfriend and sean's ex) in it. leelee was still alive. i was at the store buying chew toys for her. amanda was there helping me pick them out. whatever store we were in was playing music. that song came on--"laid" by james. amanda and i both started singing along with it, looking at each other as we were singing it especially at the part that goes "ah i think you're so pretty..." oh we were having so much fun. i don't know why i dreamt of amanda. maybe i wish i saw her more? i'm pretty sure i know why i dreamt of leelee. she was the only dog we ever had that came without behavioral problems, the only dog we ever kept until she died. i guess yesterday i was thinking that i miss having a dog. we found a new home for harry since he kept killing the chickens. we're not taking care of molly for denise anymore since she and my mom aren't friends anymore. we still have a huge economy-size pack of puppy pads sitting around. we've been trying to clear up clutter around the house in preparation for guests coming over for thanksgiving. dad was like "can i throw these out?" and mom was like, "no, that's just going to jinx it. as soon as you throw those out we're going to get a puppy."

my cousin christian has supposedly been feeling suicidal lately and has been in the hospital for it the last few days. he's only eleven. christ. what is the world coming to? mom was talking on the phone to aunt margo the other night (they're coming over for thanksgiving). for years my autistic cousin caleb was content with the hobby of putting wooden beads onto strings. now his latest favorite thing to do is to swing the strings of beads around. when he does this he doesn't watch where he's swinging them. he knocks stuff over all over the house and sometimes hits and hurts people. his other favorite thing to do is to run backwards. he (predictably) can't see where he's going when he does this and often falls and hurts himself, and has been to the ER for this several times. margo still has chronic constant back pain and is on medication all the time for it but it still doesn't totally take it away. celia is a senior in high school. lately she has this problem where she throws up all the time. nobody can figure out why. she's had to take a lot of time off from school because of it. also she has some kind of learning disorder. after telling me about all this, mom said, "after listening to margo talk about her life...... man, there is nothing wrong with my life."