the other night

So the other night jake was sitting in his room with his friends and then tori and i walked in and he said something like, 

"yeah there's my sister!" gesturing at her, "and there's my future wife," pointing at me. 

"really," i said. 

"ok i guess not," he said.

then later in the night, in front of everybody as we were all drinking and smoking, he said something like, 

"hey tori, you and your man and me and liz, we should all go out somewhere sometime and hang out or eat or something." 

"i dont have a man," said tori. 

"well get a new one."

"yea cuz its really just that simple."

"ok," said jake, looking at me, "well do u wanna go? Wanna go out with me? wanna go on a date?"

"but i'm old," i said (he's only nineteen).

"well so what? just cuz i'm young your not gonna go out with me? What difference does age make? Come on."

"well the other thing is, tori is my new best friend and she's everything i ever dreamed of having in a best friend so if u and i were hookin up then the next time i'm over here she's gonna be like 'oh, what, are you here to see me or my brother?' and then that'll just fuck everything up." 

tori laughed and said, "wow none of my other friends would've ever admitted that." then she looked at jake and said, 

"so she does wanna hook up with you."

i just didn't say anything and the subject was changed or something. We were snorting some lines too and tori said, 

"let liz snort one." 

"just one cuz i can't pay you back for more than that," i said.  

jake sort of affectionately fondled my chin and said, 

"you don't have to pay for anything." 

a little while later i went out with tori to go run some kind of errand, i think to go buy a blunt or something. Before we left jake made me hug him goodbye even though we were coming right back. I hugged him and he said, 

"gimme a kiss too." 

i kissed him on the cheek and he said, 

"no a real one, just one real one." 

i think he turned my chin and i smiled and kissed him on the lips. 

Later that night he was telling me all this stuff about how much he liked me and how he knew right away and there was just something about me and he's really picky about girls and he knew right away he wanted to be with me. He was saying stuff like, 

"i would be so honored and happy to be with you. I was gonna ask you to, well i kinda wanted to, well i kinda just already did." 

i just giggled and didn't know what to say (i wasn't going to agree to be with someone i just met). Then he was saying stuff like, 

"i'm already in--well not love, not yet, but almost. Pretty close. And if we never end up getting married and end up breaking up someday well whatever at least we gave it a shot. And i know your parents will like me. I know how to be polite and courteous and stuff." 

then when we were back at my house, tori was hooking up with jake's friend lenny and then jake and i ended up hooking up.

before jake and i really hooked up, but after he had already kissed me on the lips a couple times, tori was acting a little pissy with me.  i asked her about it.  i asked her if anything was wrong.  she said, 

"no!! what?!" 

but then a little later we ended up talking privately and she said, 

"you can hook up with my brother if you want.  it's ok.  he's hot.  i know.  and i know you're not the kind of person who would just use me to get to my brother.  i know you're not like that, it's fine."  

i fervently reassured her that i would never do that, and that she is way more important to me than he is.  then everything was better.

oh she and mike broke up, by the way, maybe like a week ago.  since then she hooked up with some psycho kid named kevin for a few days, then realized he was psycho and stopped seeing him and now she's hooking up with her brother's friend lenny.  

the other night she and i watched "jennifer's body."  in that movie these two girls are best friends but one of them pretty much worships the other one and has a crush on her.  watching that i was sort of thinking "is tori trying to hint at something by showing me this movie?"  ahahaha.  probably not.  whenever the character jennifer, who was posessed by a demon, would do something fucked up to or in front of her friend neeti (or whatever her name was), tori would say,

"i would run as far away from you as i could, liz!"

haha it kind of just makes me wonder why she automatically pictures me as jennifer and her as neeti.  why not the other way around?  jennifer is this sexy slutty bitchy bossy babe who's always hanging out with the dorky girl neeti and bosses her around.  neeti even ditches her own boyfriend a lot in the movie to hang out with jennifer.  

anyway whether tori likes me as a friend or more than a friend, whatever, i'm just happy that she's in my life.  she seems pretty happy about it too.  she's expressed her love for me on several occasions and told me she basically considers me to be like her girlfriend except that we don't hook up, but in every other way i'm her girlfriend.  it made me so happy to hear her say that.  maybe i just would never hook up with jake again if tori didn't want me to.  maybe i would just never even hook up with anyone ever again if she didn't want me to.  maybe i would just do whatever the hell she wants me to do for the rest of my life as long as she would stay in my life and keep the relationship just exactly how it is.  she makes me so happy.  she completes me. 

as for jake, i just don't really know what to think of him.  what kind of guy brings up serious stuff like that (marriage and meeting parents) to a girl just the second time he ever hangs out with her?  what am i supposed to think of that?  how am i supposed to react to that?  i almost want to do research online about guys like that so i can find out what is psychologically wrong with them, or if there is anything wrong.