nov 17

people find it horrendous when someone uses someone, like for sex or money or connections or whatever it may be. i find it horrendous that people even use each other at all, and that's what everyone does. every human does it. that's what friendships and relationships are: people using each other.

double-standard Shy, indeed.

"time to get married, Liz," said Josh. as if he were judging me. if only he knew what it was like. i would be so open to that if maybe it was with someone who doesn't need that much attention. it seems that most people find that i'm not capable of being emotionally there for them as much as they would like me to be.

i acted just like how josh acted. i had the same kind of people skills he had. we were the same person. almost identical behavior and mannerisms. they were acceptable in him but not me. alcoholic beverages were not permitted in the fridge unless they were his alcoholic beverages. all his lovers were for him and him alone.