today is the 20th birthday of the album "nevermind."
supposedly before the 1960's men with long hair weren't allowed into disneyland.
last night i had a dream that i was at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. i was in a class. i forget exactly what the class was but i remember the professor could make plants grow just by pointing her wand at them. the only thing i could seem to do with my wand was drawing. i remember several people in the class had rats or ferrets sitting on their shoulders. several of them jumped down and started chasing each other around the room and then i had to get them to stop and separate them.
two nights ago i had a dream that i had tattooed my face and then regretted it right afterwards. i did something on my forehead and something on my cheek. i was so happy to wake up.
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one thing i learned from college is that there's a difference between a real friend and a friendly aquaintance who frequently makes you laugh.
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it often occurs to me how remarkable it is that my friend tug seems to be financially independent and living on his own. he has a brain like mine and he's the same age as me. that is, it's remarkable until i'm reminded of the fact that he has a settlement from being hit by a car when he was a teenager. according to what i've heard, he still gets like $800 a month because of that. oftentimes i am jealous of him. oftentimes i wish i were hit by a car when i was a teenager. i especially have that wish at those moments when i especially wish i could afford to move out of my parents' house.
but then i try to remind myself how good i have it, and remind myself that the grass is always greener on the other side, and there's always someone to be jealous of for one reason or another, no matter who you are or what you have or don't have.
grandmother (nana's mother-in-law) sent me three birthday cards this year, two of which had money in them. i didn't know whether she was doing it on purpose to try and tell me that i was taking too long with my thank-you note, whether she really did want to send me that many cards (which i considered less likely), or whether it was just that she's getting so old and she's not so with it anymore. i got forty dollars altogether from her. in my thank-you note i sent to her i gave her back one of the twenty-dollar bills. then, a few weeks ago, when mom dropped off peter at nana & pop-pop's house to spend the weekend there, grandmother gave it to my mom to give back to me. mom said she seemed offended or something that i had sent it back. gram told mom to tell me "i meant to send her two cards. i wanted to. i know when her birthday is! april twenty-- i mean may twenty--." "june," interjected nana. "june twenty-first," finished gram. mom finished this story by telling me that she thinks gram is embarrassed about what her age is doing to her memory, and it only puts salt in the wound for me to do something like send one of the twenty-dollar bills back to her, and not to do it again. ok then. i guess i won't. i was just under the impression that she had a finite amount of money to spend and put in birthday cards.
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