tori & mike

hmmmmm so last night i was over at my new friend tori's house, playing with her ferrets, just drinking smoking chilling talking, u know. it was a good time most of the night. hehe i'm so excited to have a newww friendddd. haha so yea it was good up until her boyfriend got home. he's apparently one of those angry drunks (maybe not all the time, maybe just that one time. i don't know. i don't know him i just met him that once and one other time very briefly).

anyway he got home, tori said to him "hey this is my friend liz," and he just looked at me and walked into the other room. she was just like "that was weird." oh and when he got home he was with a friend of his...i forget his name but i think it was a J name. justin? jason? jay? i don't know. anyway so tori's boyfriend (mike) and his friend were down in the basement talking for a while and we were just standing there at the side of the top of the steps for awhile trying to hear what they were saying (since mike had been acting so weird [including the fact that he was home from work really late]). eventually tori just said "ok i'm gonna go get a cigarette off him. just feel him out and stuff." she went downstairs. a minute later mike came in the room i was in and said "hey! liz! you're welcome here, make yourself at home, mi casa es su casa, come downstairs and chill." so then the four of us were all downstairs talking for a while and then eventually somehow tori and mike ended up in a different room than me and his friend and then we both heard mike yelling and screaming really loud and angry, and what sounded like furniture being pushed over and crashing to the floor. after a minute or so mike came in the room and said "yea so liz i guess you better head on home." tori was there and she had started crying a little and she was like "i'm sorry liz. i think we're breaking up again. i'll call you ok?" and i was like "ok it's fine" and i left.

so today i texted her asking how things turned out with her and mike and she said she and mike are still fine and still together and he was just really wasted last night and he doesn't remember any of it. she apologized for that happening and said how embarrassing it was and i was like "it's fine it's ok."

if you do see her

bizarre-ass dream the other night. the FBI was after me. i overheard them talking to some people. they said "have you seen this girl? there's a warrant out for her arrest. she's guilty of fraud. she's living a child's life, being housed and fed by her parents, but she's not a child. she's twenty-four. ...if you haven't seen her just keep a lookout. notify the police if you do see her."

petsmart

well i did get the petsmart job. he said i did. then he just never told me when to come into work. i kept calling and he'd say "uhh i have to check with the other managers and see when they have time to train someone and then i'll call you back." the third day or so i just called and said "did you change your mind about hiring me?" he worded his answer kinda weird. he was just like "well i keep trying to figure out if there's a position we have that fits with what you could provide.....it's not a no but it's not a yes right now; i'll keep your information on file and call you if anything changes." and that was it.

i guess it was just that i asked about the drug test. after he interviewed me and basically said i got the job, he took me on a tour of everything and whatnot and then i asked about it. i was like "so i saw on the online application something about a drug test; is that really gonna happen?" he was like "yeah." i was like "oh ok. you don't know when though yet right?" he was like "no." then i just was like "ok that's fine" and changed the subject.

whenever i tell that story to anyone they're always like "ok well that's why you didn't get it. you blew it by asking that." ....i guess i'm the only one who thinks it's kind of rude and intrusive to demand to drug test someone (i mean it's really nosy, especially when marijuana still isn't legalized) and it's the least you can to do tell them when it's going to be.

......the book "midnight in the garden of good and evil" is really really good. it's sucking me in. it's hard to believe it's non-fiction. i've been so sucked into it that last night my mom thought i was ignoring/avoiding her haha

i've just been going through the same patterns, or the same vicious cycle, when it come to guys. ugh.

all day on valentines day i couldn't wait for it to be over.

today was really ridiculously warm. it was in the 60's. it's supposed to be warmer tomorrow. craziness. it's february. all the snow's been melting and turning the whole backyard into one big mud puddle.

the garden of good and evil

why is kindergarten kindergarten? why isn't kindergarten first grade and first grade second grade? why do they never give you skin-colored crayons and markers to use unless you get like the 64-pack of something? like as if you're being really fancy and particular if you want to draw people. there's this girl i always see at the gym. she seems hyperactive like me. she intrigues me. tonight she noticed me. she gave me a look.

lately i try to remind myself to ask people about their lives and not just go on and on about mine. i've caught myself answering 'fine' to a 'how are you?' or 'nothing' to 'what's up?' and then just forgetting to ask the same question back. so i try to remember. i've also caught myself asking people too many questions until they start to feel interrogated though.

ever stand around in the kitchen wondering what to eat because you want something good but not something that takes too long to make and you keep standing there pondering your choices until you've taken up as much time thinking about it as you would have spent making one of the things you have to make that you consider taking too long to make?

ever blow your nose and then you hear everything much louder?

peter is up. it's 10:30. he stayed up to ask me about the neighbors. he saw the lights of the rothsteins' house and pointed to it and said 'who is that? is that our family?' and i said 'no that's the neighbors, the rothsteins.' he said 'there's all different kinds of noises all around the world, all around the earth, all different little tiny peoples and crumbs all over the earth and some of them aren't a dad or a sister, they're somebody else's dad and sister.' then he was going on about how he doesn't like to sleep. i said 'if you don't like to sleep then why do you give me a hard time in the morning about being woken up?' and he said 'i just like to sleep in the morning. i like to sleep in the morning because in the morning i can hear all different kinds of beautiful sounds but i'm still sleeping.'

i'm on a break from smoking.

today just proves how manic i am. earlier today i was so giddy that i was giggling all the time over nothing. then a few hours later i just wanted to cry over nothing. i went to the gym and felt better.

ok all these words i'm typing just changed from black to dark gray. i don't know why.

ok when i say i'm on a break from smoking i mean i was on a break for the past three days but i took a hit tonight. just one. it's friday night.

that website 'createmytattoo.com' isn't turning out to be as lucrative as i thought it would be. i can be an optimist to a fault though. why did i just see all red?

last night at the library i saw this guy who looked pretty much just like a five-years-older version of sean c. when i say sean c. i mean sean c. last year. he looks different now than he used to. he looks dirtier, grungier, more hippified with dreadlocks and all. he looks like he cares less about his appearance. anyway this guy at the library last night... mmmmmmmmm was he dreamy. if i ever see him there again i wanna just go up to him and say 'you look almost exactly like my friend sean. i think it would be funny if i tagged a picture of you as him on facebook,' and see what he says.

i saw this book in the library and started reading it: 'midnight in the garden of good and evil' by john something. i want to finish reading it, it seems really good. next time i'm at the library with a library card handy i think i'll check it out.