when i hear a kitten mewing miserably in a way that says "rescue me" then it reminds me of the song "rescue me" by...i dont know who. then that song stays in my head for a while. maybe that song should be on spca commercials or something. "rescue me, oh take me in your arms, rescue me, i want your tender charms...."
i told sean m. i need a break from him. theres just no passion there anymore. the other day we started sex-texting each other and then he started talking about tying me to a tree and whipping me and burning me. that just totally killed the mood. i just answered "ew" and then he tried calling me and i didn't answer, then later he texted me saying he wasn't serious about all that. tried to tell me i don't need to freak out, he wasn't serious, do i want to meet up with him for a hook up? do i want to have a mikes hard lemonade with him? i said "sean thank you but i think i need a break from u and me. im sorry. maybe its just my non horny time of the month." no texts from him since then. when you dont have an emotional connection with someone the sex is just ten times less fun. sometimes not even worth it, not even fun at all. seems to me that's the point that it's gotten to with me & him.
somehow even though its been like eight months, somehow whenever i see or think about sean c. there's still a little bit of the pain of rejection. when will it go away?
oh but i do have another pursuit to think about :), jason l. i'm pretty excited.
oh you should see how the fields and forests glitter and twinkle at dusk, it has to be the most beautiful thing in nature that i've ever seen. i can't even describe or put into words how magical and breathtaking it is.
vegetarian=no meat. vegan=no meat or dairy. no dairy=? what do you call that? lactose intolerant by choice? if theres not a name for it there definitely should be.
the other day mom was reminding me how important it is to wash your pussy. not with regular soap but something very mild like baby soap/shampoo. then she goes on and says "i didn't really learn that until i became a lesbian and found out first hand why that's important." oh wow. mom eating someone out. wow. thats something i never tried to picture before.
you know one thing i like about jason? he's not the kind of guy who just flaps his yap about anything for the sake of there not being silence. he only joins in a conversation if it's a good one.
that kitten we rescued, the gray and white one, she fell asleep on me today :). soooooooooooooo adorable. i swear she's practically a different cat ever since me & mom tried giving her chicken (not cat food chicken but chicken) and holding a piece of it with our lips and having the kitten crawl up on us and take it out of our mouths. really. practically a different cat. so cuddly. just loves to be petted and snuggled.
my phone hasn't been working right ever since i accidentally kicked it down the stairs the other night while i was high. it shuts off every time i try to send a text.
i can understand amanda j.'s appeal to sean c. i guess. she's his age and his size. i remember this one time me & sean were fooling around and about to have sex and he tried to pick me up and it didn't really work. haha. i guess i was too big for him.
today the chicken that mom calls stinkerbell came in the house through the window. she was just on the windowsill though and then i put her back out.
today peter got a hanging bed installed in his room. tonight was the first night i've ever heard him say "ok i think i'm ready to go to bed now." i looked around at mom & dad and said "did everyone else just hear him say that?"
mom says that today she & the boys were at the store picking out father's day presents for dad & tom. there was a little figurine of the travelocity gnome, the roaming gnome, and ben pointed to it and said "pop-pop! that's pop-pop!" so they ended up getting that for him. it's a gnome that records messages or something. mom & ben & peter recorded themselves saying "happy father's day!" and then ben distractedly saying "is that a lollipop?"
i realized i did practically the same thing with sean c. that steve did with alyssa. that is, being unsure of whether or not you should sleep over at your sexual partner's place even though you already have before. when alyssa and steve first started hooking up, he slept over one night and then the night after that he tried to find some subtle inconspicuous way of asking if he was allowed to sleep over. alyssa was really confused by that. when me & sean were still hooking up, this one time when i went over his place to hang out, i just assumed i would probably be invited to sleep over and i brought my overnight stuff. but then afterwards i thought to myself "it was probably weird that i did that, and sean just didn't say anything cuz he was being polite." so the next time that same situation happened i didn't bring my stuff over and he seemed confused by that. that night was the same night he told me he can't be in an exclusive relationship.
last night i watched "from hell" with johnny depp and heather graham. it was good. apparently supposedly jack the ripper was a freemason.
mom's in a sort-of fight with Nana. well, not fight, but things are kind of uneasy between them. it's because nana doesn't think it's right that ben & peter will never meet their cousin (colleen's son) noah, who's like the same age as them. and of course mom thinks nana should just respect the fact that she & colleen are not on speaking terms and therefore their kids will not meet each other.
pop-pop wants a tattoo. he wants a little red devil holding a pitchfork. nana doesn't want him to get it though.
...i'm putting most, if not all, of my pics from june in this blog entry
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