exonerated

i got sunburnt and then right afterwards i was just suddenly so lethargic. i thought "maybe its just a coffee crash and it happens everyday and i should be used to it so i gotta snap out of it" but i eventually gave in to the fatigue and did end up sleeping at least like a half hour or something. is that normal? sunburn makes you tired?

cats always look like they're smiling. and especially when they're asleep. so happy & content, smiling.

isnt the existence of the two completely different sexes proof that there isnt really any one true reality, one true right, one true wrong, etc?

a couple times now i've gone to tyler park at night to check for psilocybe cyanescens mushrooms. so far nothing.

"here's the way i see it. if you have the capability of identifying hallucinogenics in the wild, and know people that would want them, and have the time to find them and don't mind doing it, then it's your job to do it." that is what i imagine saying to the unexistant park ranger who stops me in tyler park and interrogates me about being there after dark. well actually no i just imagine saying "i'm just doing my job." the longer quote three sentences ago is just my reasoning behind that.

you should have seen the trees at tyler park at night. so huge, tall, beautiful, twinkling; mysterious, majestic, foreboding.

i dont remember what mom was asking me about but i was ready to be done with the subject and just didnt have a reaction to whatever she said. then she was still staring at me and it was making me nervous so i giggled and i happened to be looking at my finger, on which there was a cut from a thornbush or something. somehow the cut looked vaguely like an X. so mom was like "what's so funny on your hand? what are you smirking about?" she grabs my hand. "ohhh, the X. ok. what does that mean? wait i know what it means. exonerated. hear that everyone? she's exonerated. she's off the hook. ok."

nana & poppop were here. ppl were pushing me into playing "baseball." it was the elementary school gym class memory mixed with the beer mixed with.....being a 23 year old person still stuck in her parents' house and bound to the responsibility of being the dutiful daughter, spending even my weekends with my stupid family, being bullied into playing stupid games. it's just like being seventeen again. anyway i cried. i felt stupid later cuz i mean there's really nothing to cry over. i don't have it that bad.

the taskers got a house 10 miles from here!!!

sean m. said something about tying me to a tree and whipping me. i think he was trying to turn me on or something. as if. it had the opposite effect. it just totally killed the mood. i havent been able to get horny for him since then.

all the orange tiger lilies in front of a house on wilkinson road were tilted and pointing in the same direction.

i'm gonna hang out with jason l. or at least talk to him next week. i got back in touch w him a few days ago. i'm excited.