in order to prevent myself from hurting myself or others i must restrain myself from doing so many things. drinking alcohol makes restraining myself SO much harder. why am i drinking? why do i drink? .....maybe the mormons are onto something.
there is such a communication barrier between me and everyone else.
sometimes i feel so happy
sometimes i feel so sad
sometimes i feel so happy
but mostly you just make me mad
baby you just make me mad
linger on
your pale blue eyes
linger on
your pale blue eyes
velvet underground
i think maybe i will always feel like an alien trapped in a human body. ......humans are so ilogically programmed it's impossible to understand.
thats y
you say i'm so chill, so calm, so laidback, so nonjudgmental so had to offend. that's because i take what people say and i take this time trying to translate it and understand it and just think about it, and in the meantime (cuz ppl won't wait that long) i just give ppl the benefit of the doubt.
alyssa says she thinks my way is better. she makes me feel better. she says she doesn't think there's been misunderstandings between us.
and i say thank you for listening to my bullshit.
another thought i had, on the plane from tampa to philadelphia: it feels like maybe this whole life has been just a big long acid trip. i mean sometimes that's what i have to think in order to believe and process what people are saying and doing. sometimes while smoking i've had this thought: seems like being high is like being sober and being sober is like a really bad acid trip.
why are there so many times when people tell you the rules and restrictions behind something without telling you the reason why? " please refrain from......., please step away from......, please keep your......, please turn off your......, please put away your.......,"
please turn off cell phones and other signal-emitting devices
uh excuse me hey sorry just curious as to the reason we turn off our cell phones
it interferes with the plane's navigation system
oh ok
i am a thousand times more motivated to follow that rule.
i am one of those who want the plane to arrive in its proper location.
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