just more

i think i figured out why i couldn't be a parent. i could never be that in someone's business....i mean as much as a parent has to be in her kid's business.

a lot of times when i see a child doing something--something that i later find out most parents would consider to be hazardous, dangerous, or unsafe--i'm just thinking like "well, i wouldn't do that, but i wouldn't do a lot of things other people do, and that works for them, and maybe it's working for this kid too...i wouldn't know, i've never been him. i don't know what it's like to be him."

or maybe i could be a parent but just a different kind of parent than my dad is. maybe i'm not unfit to be a parent, maybe he's just super uptight. i really can't tell. i'm thinking of the time peter half=picked-up the kids' table like he was about to topple it over and the cat was in the way. i was thinking ya the cat is in the way but shes aware, shes looking at peter. also i still dont even really know if hes gonna topple the table over. so i just looked i didnt say anything, but as soon as dad saw, he looked alarmed and bellowed "PETER!" and then peter put the table back down.