4/5/13

Fun sounds like the new Queen.
Lady Gaga sounds like the new Madonna.
Gotye sounds like the new Sting.

Last night I had a dream that there was a crippled Russian guy who killed Pinky the cat and then he wanted to date me.  I told him no cuz he killed my cat.  He swore he didn't do it but Nana said she swore she knew he did it.  No one actually saw him do it but there was substantial evidence.

A couple weeks ago Seann was telling me he never sees faces in his dreams.  At first I was like, "What? That's so weird." I kept going on and on about how weird I thought that was and analyzing it and trying to figure out psychologically why he wouldn't see faces in his dreams.  Then, the more I thought about it, the more I thought, "Wait. How often do I even see faces in my dreams? Maybe I don't see them either but I just never took mental note of the fact that I don't see them. Maybe it was never important enough for me to take mental note of because all I need to know is that I know who the people are that are in my dreams." It's so hard to remember if I even see faces or not. I feel like a lot of times I see them but only in peripheral vision so it's like they're blurry.

Another dream I had last night was that I was at some kind of place that was sort of like a museum and sort of like an aquarium or zoo. There was a baby whale in a tiny tank there and one of the workers there was talking to an audience all about that baby whale.  I asked one of the employees there, "That whale has a bigger tank to swim in when he doesn't have to do a presentation, right?"  The employee said, "No, but he's trained not to want to swim that far or that fast.  We take him out to get exercise often enough.  We have a harness/holster-type-thing attached to the side of a speedboat that he goes in and we take him out swimming that way.  We never go too fast or too far, so he's not used to that so he doesn't want to or need to. And our employees interacting with him, well, that provides all the socialization he needs. So, he's well taken care of." This made me very sad. I was there with my family, and strangely enough, it didn't make any of them sad.

Seann and I broke up.  He told me he doesn't love me but I guess I can't blame him.  I told him I was with him because I was past my mid-twenties and felt like I should've tried having a boyfriend by now.

from february

from february

Grape seed oil and vitamin e are antioxidants that defend skin from airborne pollutants

If I'm interpreting my notes correctly (that i wrote down after watching some kind of show on discovery science discovery health discovery history or whatever): a year before Neil Armstrong's trip into space, another journey took place that was more dangerous--a journey 30,000 feet into the deep sea. it was either jacues picard triese or don walsh.

sometime this year a live giant squid was first seen for the first time in human history i'm pretty sure.

the boys lost their first teeth sometime in these last few months.

i found out water is 1000 times heavier than air.

The other night, for the first time ever, when Seann was trying to ask me when I would be going over to his place, he said "when are you coming home?"


the 12th


It's like I'm turning over a new leaf in my life.

No, I probably shouldn't say that cuz that'll jinx it. It's what I'm 
trying to do though. I might have a new tattooing job. I quit trees. 
I'm going off my wellbutrin to save money.

So far so good.


the 20th


Ciara is an ophiucus if you go by the new astrology.  I don't like Elvis anymore, he stole music.  I went off my meds.  My dad bought his business. The boys turned seven.


the 26th


one of my drunken "epiphonies"


Every relationship in life has a purpose. A coworker's/boss's relationship with you is to show you how to make money with someone. A parent's/child's realationship with you is to show you how to take care of someone/be taken care of. A sibling's relationship with you is to show you how to be someone's friend and rival at the same time. No matter how much you may think the relationships in your life are just there to be there and be themselves, they're really there for a purpose; once that purpose is fulfilled, it's over with. ...I've come to this conclusion after being separated from one sister for four years and separated from another for eight.


Is it easier to raise animals because you never have to give them talks about life and how to live it? Or is it easier to raise people because they can tell you what's wrong and where it hurts?

1/30/13

Dear Mr. Federico,

Thank you so much for getting in touch with me.  Based on the description of this position, I am highly interested in it and think I could excel at it.  However, before we schedule a time for an interview, do you think you can do me a favor and find out whether or not you are permitted to hire people that have misdemeanors on their records?  I don't want to use up half a tank of gas for nothing, as I'm sure you understand also living in this economy. Things are tight out there!

Thank you,

Liz H

Yeah, I'm just kind of getting really sick of people acting like they like me and want to hire me, and then not doing it. No more wasting gas money on those people.

And it's all because I failed to be a hero and perform a citizen's arrest.  That was my crime.

1/24/13

centrifugal force is what makes you stick to the walls in that ride they have at carnivals that looks like a spaceship and spins you around.

tim armstrong from rancid and billy joe armstrong from green day are brothers.

screech from saved by the bell has a brother who's one of the beastie boys: mikey d.

thurs aug 30th 2012

"my coworker's throwing this tattoo party type thing for me, september 8th."

"like you're tattooing people there?"

"yea."

"that's cool."

"yea. i wish i could invite more people and schedule more people for tattoos. so far only three are scheduled. three little ones. i wanna do more but i don't know if i'll have the time or engergy. ...know what would be so awesome? if i had like a partner-type figure, someone else who did tattoos, who could do these tattoo party things with me."

"i couldn't do it. i mean i'd want to but i suck at drawing, so i'd suck at it. i'm not a good choice."

"there's several people who have expressed interest in letting me teach them things but i don't know if i should. there's this one guy tim, and then there's this guy ed but he's really young. he's only like a teenager. then there's michelle...."

"michelle? she wants to do tattoos?"

"yea. she mentioned something about it."

"she's probably not a good choice. she has too much other stuff goin' on. she has other stupid stuff going on that she's always doing. she won't put the time into it that's needed. she won't take it seriously enough. she's not a good choice."

"ok. ...then again maybe i shouldn't be thinking about finding someone to teach; maybe i should be thinking about finding another apprenticeship and continuing my education. i already know there's still a lot more i could learn. i already know i could still be so much better. ....but whenever i think of the idea of looking around in shops around here for a new apprenticeship, i get afraid that the people i ask are going to know the people i used to work with. then they're going to ask those people about me and then those people are going to badmouth me."

"they would badmouth you?"

"maybe."

"why? what happened at the shops you used to work at?"

"my boss did me, so then i stopped respecting him so then i stopped listening to him so then that pissed him off and he fired me."

"did, like, sex?"

"yea."

"oh. haha. it's just funny the way you said it. you said it so like nonchalant. 'he did me.' ...well, you let him."

"well i said no the first time, and then he just kept trying. if someone keeps trying over and over again doesn't that kinda just make you think, 'oh, maybe there's a reason i should just give in' ?"

"yea. as in like, if i just give in then they're finally gonna stop bugging me?"

"yea. exactly."

twiztid

in the movie "waiting," in the end where the quiet kid mitch is finally talking for the first time in the whole movie, and he's making fun of justin long's character and saying "'boohoo i don't know what i want to do when i grow up.' join the f*cking army!" ...when he says that does he mean like, join the army of people that don't know what they want to do when they grow up? or does he literally mean join the army?

i have this new obsession: the album "man's myth vol.1" by twiztid. it's all i listen to in my car whenever i drive now, for the past couple weeks. i love the song "entity" sooo much, and the song "the argument." those are my two favorites. after them i guess are the songs "so high" and "story of our lives."

i don't know why but i still have dreams about my old neighbors ingrid & deter semi-frequently. they were always very nice but they were really private people. i think in all the time i've known them i've only been in their house once. i have these dreams where i somehow accidentally end up overstepping the line between my property and theirs, and then i get all worried and start thinking, "they didn't notice did they? they weren't looking out their windows were they?"

am i going to be one of those women that stops wearing makeup in her middle ages? am i going to be one of those women that gains weight in her middle ages? it happened to both my biological parents. that doesn't seem like a good sign. is it going to just start to get harder and harder to stay thin as the years go by? ...only if i worry about it. stop worrying about it liz. just snap out of it.

hi, arlene

the new district leader thinks i don't make enough eye contact with people. i had to go to another SAU to try to "re-impress" him, as stef puts it. i tried to look him in the eye a lot. i was the only employee who wasn't new who had to go to that thing. it seemed like he was looking at me more than anyone else. creepy.

the other morning i woke myself up by yelling, "i'm late!" in my sleep.

over the past few months i've been reminded of the fact that i usually never forget a face. people have come into payless that i haven't seen or talked to in like ten years but i still remember who they are. they clearly don't know who i am. the idea of saying "hi, arlene" or "hi, amy" to them and having them say "how do you know my name?" and me telling them i'm psychic....the idea appeals to me. not enough to actually do it, though.

a few months ago i read a book by jo nesbo that told me the part of the brain that's responsible for remembering faces. if you're really good at it then that part of your brain is abnormally big. i can't remember what it's called though.